Kiss me goodnight, kiss me goodbye
by Ren-kyun
Summary: How do you show your affection? A little drabble about young Kaneki and his mother


Kaneki loved his mother. And his mother loved him. They were alone in this beautiful world, but that was just fine.

Every night before his lamp light was the flicked off, after a bedtime story, he would give his mother a peck on the lips. He was six then, nearly a grown man! But he didn't mind being the one to initiate the act of affection, he loved his mother after all.

She would smile, warm and full of light. Then she would reply to his smooch with one of her own, usually on his forehead. In a soft whisper, barely audible, she would tell her beloved son, "Pleasant dreams, Ken," and the corner of Kaneki's lips would upturn as his eyes fluttered shut.

But he would still hear the door open and close, along with shuffling from his mother's aching feet.

* * *

Kaneki loved books. His mother told him he was such a bookworm because of his late father. He read in this happy world, not mind being shut away from time to time.

Sometimes Kaneki's vision would blur and his eyes would strain. The characters would get harder and harder to read, not because of the kanji, but because the ink seemingly started to bleed out of the pages.

Kaneki would rub his eyes, and the words returned to normal. So the small seven-year-old brushed it off as nothing, soaking in the book again.

His mother frowned when Kaneki told her about this strange experience. She gave the boy a disapproving gaze, firm yet gentle. Kaneki bowed his head down in shame, never having been given this look.

With a long sigh, Kaneki's mother leaned down and kissed his head, muttering, "It's alright to take a break." Kaneki's eyes were no longer be drawn, instead wet. Tiny droplets fell as Kaneki launched himself into his mother's soft arms, brushing his lips against hers. He felt her beam.

After that, Kaneki began trying other things in his free time, besides reading until his eyes began to hurt. Kaneki's mother sat at the table, disregarding her own advice.

* * *

Kaneki loved his new friend. The sunny boy, Hide, was a bit frighteningly energetic at first, but Kaneki quickly grew used to his interesting behavior. They would stay together in this big world, supporting each other no matter what.

One day, a classmate approached the eight-year-old while he was reading. With a funny sneer, the classmate picked his book out of his hands. Two others joined in with the fun.

They taunted and teased, but Kaneki just responded with a shaky smile, shyly taking his possession back. That was until their next jest, "I bet a nerd like you are totally a momma's boy!"

Kaneki's content expression shifted into that of worry as the statement truly sunk in. Was... _Was that wrong?_

"Ha! He is, he is a momma's boy!"

"I bet he kisses her on the lips!"

"Ew, that's just disgusting!"

Kaneki's face flushed, unsure what to do. He began to hide his face in the pages of his father's dusty story. He did his best to ignore his classmates' disdainful voices, instead concentrating on the characters. _The summer's day, the white sunlight, unabushi ends simply through his breath alone. . ._

But then his savior arrived, with a radiant smile and pleasant disposition. Hide easily wormed into the harassment, weaving counters in the form of easy talking. The classmates, clearly having no fun with the bright boy around, left both him and Kaneki alone.

That night, Kaneki gave his mother a kiss on the cheek, but made sure to say in a clear voice, "I love you, mom."

* * *

Kaneki loved hamburgers. He especially loved the ones his mother would make, for him and him alone, cooked well and seasoned beautifully. He continued consuming the savory dish in this world, grateful for his mother's skilled hands.

It was the end of the week, and Kaneki's mother had cheerfully stated that she would cook him his favorite hamburgers tonight. Kaneki grinned, overjoyed.

While the meat was sizzling in the pan, the doorbell rang. Kaneki stood up and went to answer it, despite his mother's protests. With a luminous expression, the nine-year-old swung the door open. His eyes met with familiar ones, ones that were squinting from the forced smile on her face.

"Hello, Ken-kun. Is my sister home?"

Kaneki's smile faltered, but he recovered with a swift nod. He ran back to the kitchen as told his mother of his aunt's sudden appearance. She quickly placed the pan off the heated part of the stove and rushed to the entryway, untying her apron as she left. Kaneki stared at the food, wondering why it didn't smell or look as appetizing anymore.

Kaneki's mother called her workplace, asking for overtime after dinner. Kaneki didn't eat all of his food, using the excuse that he shared a big lunch with Hide.

* * *

Kaneki loved his mother. He really, really loved her. No matter what, no matter what. He wanted her to stay with him, continue loving him in this unfair world.

But returning home with perfect test scores in his hand, the ten-year-old boy opened the door to his home, politely shouting, "I'm home!" It echoed.

As he walked to the room where his mother sat, where she constantly ran herself ragged, he saw her hunched over figure. Blinking, Kaneki walked to the closet and grabbed a spare blanket. He returned to his sleeping mother and wrapped the fabric around her.

Her skin was cold. Cold, cold, cold, _cold, cold, cold,_ why was it _cold_?

Kaneki's breath hitched in his throat. Mother's cold because... the air condition is too high? She ate something cold? She's caught a sickness?

He didn't want to, but he knew he had to. Sitting down and leaning against her _cold_ body, he did what he learned in health class. Placing two of his tiny fingers on his mother's neck, he checked and waited. He moved his fingers, sure he was just in the incorrect place.

He check for her stable, strong heartbeat. He watched as minutes went by and she wasn't breathing. He touched her icy skin again.

Then he screamed a choked sob, bloody murder into the skies.

* * *

He hated this. He hated this. He hated this. He hated this cruel world.

But he loved his mother.

So, as her body was being lifted out of their home, Kaneki followed her outside. His face was saturated with tears, his eyes were dull, his body wouldn't cease shaking. He caught up with the two men and the stretcher with his peaceful mother and asked them to stop for a second.

Standing on his toes to reach, he kissed his mother on the lips.

 _Goodnight, goodbye, I love you_.


End file.
